day 5: response

so Jake totally knew that I was doing the Love Dare again once I asked him last night about the irritation thing. He said that there was nothing that he could think of that bothered him. He said he normally just tells me when I am doing something that he doesn't like and then I stop doing it. Which is true. So Dare done...

response

So the day that I had my last challenge I wasn't able to buy something for Jake, so I made him one of his favorite foods (I had never made it before). And it was a hit. He was so excited to try it and so happy that I thought of him. I have been working on my behavior since my last post. I haven't been completely AWOL, but I have been sick. So I haven't been as active about pursuing more "dares". I've read a few new ones lately though. So here is the next dare...

Day 4: Love is thoughtful

Todays Dare: Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

This is not a hard one for me. What is harder for me is to not call Jake several times during the day! I ask him this pretty much every day.

the next dare...

Day 5: Love is not rude

Todays Dare: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

I remember the first time I went through this dare. It was hard, and at the same time it was easy. It was hard for me to ask him this, I felt awkward about it. I didn't want to have to sit there and hear him say the things that I knew I was doing wrong and not be able to defend myself. But it was good practice. And he was calm and gentle when he told me that there was only one thing that I did that bothered him. And I knew what it was. He said that he felt that I was rude to his family. So it was a big issue to him. He loves his family so much. And being faced with this dare again, I can honestly say that this issue will not come up again. I love his family more now than I ever have before. I am so thankful that my heart has softened in this area. However, I am sure there is something else that will come up, and that I will want to make excuses for myself. But I will do my best to listen with an open heart and accept that this is a dare for me to learn how Jake feels, its not about me. And then I can grow from there...

Beings that I have asked Jake this before I am going to try and word it differently so that he doesn't recognize that I am going through the Love Dare book again... I feel a little embarrassed about it for some reason... but only with him. I have told other people about it, I am even blogging about it, I just haven't told him :)

Day 3 : Love is not selfish

This is a good challenge. I am a giving person. In the sense that I love to take care of people. I love to do things for them so they can relax or take care of something else they've been wanting to get to. It makes me happy, and it makes me feel at peace. But I still have my moments when someone asks me to do something and I roll my eyes. Or sigh. Or do it with a lethargic attitude. We are all human. So this is a good challenge in the sense that I can always change for the better, even on things that I am usually very good at!

Todays Dare: Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today".

"Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others" -Kendrick

Day 2: Kindness

Todays (yesterdays) dare : In addition to not saying anything negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

This one may seem kind of silly if your marriage is going well. I do lots of gestures out of kindness to my husband everyday. So I suppose this is just a reminder to be kind. To go out of my way to do things that I know he likes, and that will make him happy. Yesterday we went to the movies and I took the inner seat because he wanted the outer one. I suppose that can be a gesture of kindness.

Day 1: Response

The first day of this challenge I have to admit I was impatient in the evening. I wasn't mad, just frazzled. We got home from the gym really late and I was trying to figure out what I could make for a fast and easy dinner. I was (and still am) still feeling sick and was completely drawing a blank. So I got frustrated. I didn't really take it out on anyone, but its not like I was happy go lucky either. I have practiced being more patient, its been on my mind daily. I could really use a lesson in patience. I feel like a really impatient person. So this is a hard and good challenge for me.

Day One Do-over

To be completely honest I got pretty far in this book the first time around. But then one night Jake and I got into a really bad fight and I got really mad and hurt. In that moment I felt like this book was silly and not helping anything... so I tore it up into really little pieces. I felt bad afterwards. But it was something that I felt like doing at the time. I suppose we can all be immature sometimes. Anyways, I got the book again, along with three small journals, and I plan on starting this again. I don't think that our marriage is in danger. But I do think I need to learn to be a better wife. I get really impatient for no good reason, and I'm not always nice. So I am setting out to do this Love Dare to be a better version of me. I hope I stick to it. Now that I am a regular blogger I think it will be easier for me to journal everyday. I am hoping for the best :) I will blog about each day the morning after so that I have a better perspective of how the whole day before went. If you follow me along on this journey I hope I don't bore you to death. I hope this blog really reflects the honest love I have for my husband and my desire to be better to him at all times :)



Day One: Love is Patient


Today's Dare


The first part of this dare is fairly
simple. Although love is communicated
in a number of ways, our words often
reflect the condition of our heart. For
the next day, resolve to demonstrate
patience and to say nothing negative
to your spouse at all. If the temptation
arises, choose not to say anything. It’s
better to hold your tongue than to say
something you’ll regret.

not using this one anymore...

so ok, I just don't have the time to keep up on my blogging, and I have 3 "blogs" so I am dropping this one. It was a really good book to go through, I recommend it for people who want to better themselves in their relationships. I learned a lot from it, I still think about some of the things from this book everyday! Anyways, sorry if you were wanting to hear more from me about this journey through this book. There was a journaling area in the book, so I got tired of writing in there everyday and then blogging about it, I know I didn't do much of the blogging anyways! But yeah... I am lazy enough about my regular blogs, so I need to drop this extra one. :)