response

So the day that I had my last challenge I wasn't able to buy something for Jake, so I made him one of his favorite foods (I had never made it before). And it was a hit. He was so excited to try it and so happy that I thought of him. I have been working on my behavior since my last post. I haven't been completely AWOL, but I have been sick. So I haven't been as active about pursuing more "dares". I've read a few new ones lately though. So here is the next dare...

Day 4: Love is thoughtful

Todays Dare: Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

This is not a hard one for me. What is harder for me is to not call Jake several times during the day! I ask him this pretty much every day.

the next dare...

Day 5: Love is not rude

Todays Dare: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

I remember the first time I went through this dare. It was hard, and at the same time it was easy. It was hard for me to ask him this, I felt awkward about it. I didn't want to have to sit there and hear him say the things that I knew I was doing wrong and not be able to defend myself. But it was good practice. And he was calm and gentle when he told me that there was only one thing that I did that bothered him. And I knew what it was. He said that he felt that I was rude to his family. So it was a big issue to him. He loves his family so much. And being faced with this dare again, I can honestly say that this issue will not come up again. I love his family more now than I ever have before. I am so thankful that my heart has softened in this area. However, I am sure there is something else that will come up, and that I will want to make excuses for myself. But I will do my best to listen with an open heart and accept that this is a dare for me to learn how Jake feels, its not about me. And then I can grow from there...

Beings that I have asked Jake this before I am going to try and word it differently so that he doesn't recognize that I am going through the Love Dare book again... I feel a little embarrassed about it for some reason... but only with him. I have told other people about it, I am even blogging about it, I just haven't told him :)